We’ll go leaps and bounds to avoid vulnerability out of fear of facing undesirable situations enveloped with undesirable emotions.
// Vulnerability is the core of all emotions.
Out of fear of judgement, pain, failure or the unknown, we’ll make it our enemy. Because somewhere at some point in our lives, we were judged, hurt, faced failure or the unknown. Heartbreaks, rejection, criticisms: they open the door to our fragility and make us more aware of ourselves in a way we’d never otherwise choose to face. In turn, we intentionally withdraw from the possibility of being vulnerable again by avoiding situations that could cause us that same uncomfortable feeling.
To be vulnerable is directly placing ourselves in a position that could potentially lead us to uncomfortable emotions and encounters. But this discomfort, this vulnerability, doesn’t have to be looked at in a negative light. To be vulnerable is also directly placing ourselves in a position that could lead us to beautiful opportunities — those of chance, growth, security, love, belonging betterment. Fear is temporary, formed by a negative association our minds have with the event or activity that once caused us pain. Fear stems from the inability to control the outcome of an undesirable situation to suit what we desire. To be vulnerable means we are intentionally exposing ourselves to that fear. In doing so, in leveraging our vulnerability, we’re taking ownership of that fear, allowing us to mold our reaction to the outcome, versus the outcome itself, so it better fits our needs.
It’s not a weakness, a passing reluctancy or something any of us should live without. To consider vulnerability a weakness is to consider feeling one’s emotions as so. To feel is to live. It’s not a choice — it’s the pure undertone of our natural being. The choice is how we respond when the shaky parts of vulnerability come at us: risk, emotional exposure and doubt. If we choose to keep out what may cause us pain, we also prevent ourselves from feeling any sliver of happiness and good, that we’re worthy of. And we are worthy.
To shy away from vulnerability is to hide our authenticity, our uniqueness. The act of invulnerability is the vain attempt to become someone we’re not, someone we fabricate ourselves to be out of fear of revealing our truest nature. It closes off our understanding and acceptance of the inevitable lows and wonderful highs of both ourselves and others. In suppressing our vulnerability, we also place a handicap on the guidance needed at the wavering pivots of our existence. And we all need guidance sometimes. Vulnerability helps us better connect with ourselves and those who we choose to connect with.
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. To feel is to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to be fully immersed in and accepting of our feelings. To feel comfortable feeling uncomfortable. To believe in the benefit of risk. To be the rawest, most open version of ourselves.
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